from the ignobel prizes:
…whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle – why, hitting with a full bottle would mean wasting perfectly good beer.
…kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the faeces of giant pandas – getting this into mass production may be a bit tricky…
…investigating a possible cause of arthritis of the fingers, by diligently cracking the knuckles of his left hand but not his right hand every day for more than 60 years – we don’t know as yet which hand developed arthritis.
creating diamonds from tequila – atrocious. reverse reaction, now that would be something!
Literature prize goes to… Ireland’s police service for writing and presenting more than 50 traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country – Prawo Jazdy – whose name in Polish means ‘Driving Licence’ “ – no comments.
inventing a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks – one for the wearer and one to be given to a needy bystander – no question why the bystanders might get needy.
coda: She demonstrated her invention and gave one to each of the Nobel laureates as a gift. … needy bystanders again.
oldies but goldies:
… who devised the digital rectal massage as cure for intractable hiccups – so that’s why our MPs never hiccup.
…the discoverer of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck – o, those corrupt birds!
